Parents and Wedding Planning: How to Collaborate

Parents and Wedding Planning: How to Collaborate

We all know our parents and in-laws, especially the mothers, are most eager to join in on the wedding planning for their children. The problem with this is that sometimes the bride will be conflicted between her own interests and what her mother or mother-in-law desires. As a bride, you don’t want to start any contention or hurt feelings, but still want to include them in the process. Here are some ideas that will help with that and keep you and your groom in control of the decision-making of your special day.

You & Your Fiance’s Plans

Both the bride and the groom should be involved in the wedding planning, especially since this is about both of you. Rather than make it the bride’s dream wedding, the couple should be on the same page and make it the couple’s dream wedding. It’s harder to say no to two of you than just one, so if you make these decisions together you will hold firm in your conviction of what your wedding vision is. Make sure you and your fiance are both clear on what you have planned together so that there won’t be much leeway for your parents to disagree and change things. Let your parents know this is your decision and that you would love their support in it.


Now, I know crunching numbers is not the most fun thing to do, but a budget is invaluable in making the planning process smoother with the parents. What exactly do you want and where will the money be allocated? Sometimes your parents and in-laws are unsure of what is needed for your wedding and where to help out, so a budget will help locate just what needs to be taken care of. Depending on which set of parents, each might be able to contribute a certain amount to the wedding plans. If you make a budget and show them how much for each area of the wedding, then they will feel more comfortable telling you where and how much they can give. Or, you can even assign them to a specific area of the wedding that you know would best fit their budget and make them feel appreciated and involved in the process.


Ever heard of “communication is the key”? If you want to work well as a team with your parents and in-laws then there needs to be lots of communication. The more you share with them your thoughts and ideas, the more they will understand what you want and how they can tweak their part in the wedding to go along with what you envision.


Maybe you have parents or in-laws who have really strong opinions. You may have to do some negotiating with them so that you both are satisfied. As a bride and groom, what is most important and necessary to have at your wedding? Write the list, and make sure you both have full-control of these things. Now, write a list of items that are of least importance. These parts of the wedding can be the ones shared with the parents and in-laws so that they can have more control and freedom when they help out in those areas.